About the mythical phenomenon under the name mushrooms)

Good afternoon, expensive maycharmelk!
Cheerfully about a relevant mushroom time

"I distinguish five species of mushrooms: boletuses, chanterelles, "likely a russula", "it is similar to edible" and "precisely a toadstool". The oldest daughter Masha who absorbed from me these sacraments of botany prepared three big bags to the forest.
- Superfluous we will give away, - she told.
It was represented to it, mushrooms grow as potato. Kneel and collect. The real wood was the severe miser. Similar to cheerful elks, we galloped elnichek, then a birch forest. Found a russula, and crushed that in a fight for copyright.

Masha went to the forest with the simple purpose to leave the country without mushrooms. And younger Lyalya came to surpass Masha. To her it is unimportant even how many it will leave in bags. The main thing in walk for mushrooms, considers Lyal, it is a victory. Its plan was such: it is necessary to run for Masha behind and slightly sideways. At the sight of production Masha will scream because the little girl. At this moment it is possible to jump and grab. Everything has to be as in baseball. That is, you understand, the nature had no chances to escape in general.

We ran on the wood of long three minutes and understood: there are no mushrooms. That is, they are absent at all, anywhere. Mushrooms are a myth. It is retold each other by mentally unstable people for a self-assessment raising.

For example, my friends Beknazarov and Makeev, greet so:
- Yesterday 15 white.
- And I on Sunday 27 white, and did not consider birch mushrooms.
- And I on Saturday 300 boletuses, but all day went.
Beknazarov, to lie and to get off, passes to buckets. He complains that he collected for August of 14 buckets. Time was not at all therefore so it is not enough. According to more creative Makeev, at all his relatives buckets, basins and bathtubs ended long ago.
I dream to listen to the end of their conversation once. There at the end the concerning story as to hungry Africa there were echelons with slippery jacks hangs. And Africa appeared not to gobble up so many mushrooms in forces.
From words "present a jar" both look out of the window with enthusiasm as if there Gagarin flies again.

And so, we went on the forest in which is not present, and there were never mushrooms. Also sat down on a stub to have a bite simple food of the mushroom picker – egg, tomato, chicken and soft-boiled cheesecake. And here by us there passed the aunt ghost with the huge back in violet body stockings. It bore two buckets of mushrooms. The feeling of powerless hatred to all tolstopopy captured us. But we did not begin to catch up and smother the mushroom fairy, though could.

For such humility god presented us a clearing. There about one thousand to nobody the necessary coral milky caps grew. Does not come to people to mind that the coral milky cap will leave an excellent milk mushroom, only the brush and a little sexual paint is necessary. Then we collected still any mushroom trifle, edible by sight. And then, for the first time in life, I found a boletus. Also kissed it on a hat, then in buttocks and others even in the ways lost with it virginity.

The neighbor Lena told, unfamiliar mushrooms should be cooked with onions. If onions turn blue, mushrooms are poisoned. If remains white, then everything is better to throw out together with a pan because in general it is unclear.

In the evening I will prepare all this. If there is a post about the flying green dogs, means we are fine, we have supper mushrooms and we watch 3-D animated cartoons.
And you can exchange nonsense in comments so far as for once found more than three boletuses.

Glory of SE