As I broke an impasse: "Sometime we will be together!"

It is sure that in life of each of us there were moments which there is no wish to remember. They to some extent hurt us... Sometimes, physical, but, what is even worse, sincere!

I had to come up more than once against really difficult situations which are capable to unsettle, beat off for a long time any desire to do something, to smile, talk and even to live!

I will not begin to go into details - I will tell only that once literally in one and a half years our happy family was reduced from four people to two: me and mother. And though I at that time was 20 years old, it was not easier to endure loss of close people at all, and, maybe, it is even heavier, than to the small child!


That period became the real test for us with mother as our family - the only thing that it seemed indestructible, suddenly thinned... The feeling when as if the earth leaves from under legs is familiar to you? This approximately what we felt at that moment.

I became reserved for some time. Did not want to see anybody - AT ALL ANYBODY, EXCEPT MOTHER! I was irritated by the words of sympathy, a condolence, lamentation... And the only thing what I at first found rescue in - it is books.


I do not know why, but I wanted to read. I remember how literally in few days read Jane Eyre. This novel captured then me "completely". I as if was disconnected from the experiences, like that, book history.

After a while, I wanted communication. And here I am very grateful to my friends who were near. And, called, came and literally waited for this moment when I want to talk... But here I met new, absolutely unexpected difficulty - I just did not know what to tell... I so got used to an infinite talk on sympathy and questions of state of mind, our with mother, that other subjects just did not climb in the head!


But one of my friends could help me with it after all. She began to tell news of the life, to discuss the problems which arose at it, thereby. provoking me to that also I gave it some advice, joined in a conversation. We came for walks - and, just walks "in anywhere". On city streets, on the park...


Gradually I was restored to usual life. Though, staying at home, with mother or in her absence, I still long time was attacked by pain... This such feeling which have, you will not wish also to the enemy!

I understood that the only way to fight against it: to believe that loss of our dear people - temporary separation! That sometime we will surely meet both the grandmother and the father! What relatives and the truth watch us from heaven and just wait when THAT time comes, and we will be able to embrace each other again!

And, you know, this belief helped me to endure this hardest period! I began to think of future meeting, to represent it in all paints... But at the same time, by itself, understanding that it has to take place in "the time"!


There is a wonderful movie with Robin Williams in a leading role - "Where give dreams" where what I so wanted to trust then in and what I trust in and now is very well told!


In my life there was anything, but I will not be tired to repeat that it is more terrible than the death of close people - there is NOTHING! All difficulties can be experienced when dear people are near when there is an opportunity to embrace them, to kiss and just to keep silent together with them!

But if there is no such opportunity any more, then it is necessary very much to try to believe that many years later it surely will appear! That death is not the end... it is transition to other world where sooner or later there will be each of us. But only then, when that hour will come!

These thoughts really helped me. And I actually believe in what I speak about! Perhaps and such method will help someone else...

From myself I want to wish that nobody ever appeared in difficult life situations! They, of course, in some sense temper, but, sometimes, too expensive price!